you can always keep learning

I know I definitely have a bias when it comes to educational topics because, let's face it, the majority of my life has either involved actual enrollment/participation in education or teaching in an educational setting. Plus, my current goal is to enroll in a PhD program in order to ultimately be able to teach in a college setting. Clearly, learning in general holds a place in my heart. Going through a Master's program was a great step for me both academically and personally (though to be honest my finances did not come out unscathed, yikes!), but it also opened my eyes to what learning - even at an Ivy Plus, private research university - can look like.

One misconception that I held before enrolling at UChicago was that most people went straight from undergraduate studies into a PhD program. And those of us who didn't make it in right away either only took one year off, we weren't smart enough, or we had some Event in our lives that barred us from going. This is probably the most incorrect (and narrow-minded) idea I think I have ever held. When I started coursework at the university, I was surprised to see so many students who were a good deal older than I was - and I am talking about a good 10+ year age difference. In fact, I would say the majority of the students had taken a significant amount of time off after they completed their Bachelor's degree. Furthermore, as I spoke to more faculty members, it became clear that a lot of admissions committees looked favorably on going out into the world and gaining experience - go figure, right?

I am currently in the midst of a gap year, waiting to hear if I'll be entering a PhD program this fall, or taking another route. While I used to see a PhD as the be-all-end-all of my life, I have come to realize that there is nothing stopping me from continuing to engage in my love for academia. I might not have an institution attached to my name to give me academic "cred", but I can still dig deeper into the theories and ideas that truly capture my fascination. And I think this is an important thing to keep in mind: you can always keep learning, especially when whatever you are studying is something you are really passionate about. Most of the books that I enjoy reading are fairly obscure texts, but I can easily find them through interlibrary loans at my local library. This is true for any other type of knowledge you might be seeking. For example, I enjoy knitting and I like trying out new techniques, but I don't have any knitting gurus near me who can show me what to do - so I turn to YouTube videos. There is an abundance of ways to keep expanding your knowledge base and most of them are very easy to access.

At the end of the day what I care about is learning and always continuing to learn because there is so much that I do not know. There are many misconceptions that I am sure that I still hold on to while also remaining blind to their existence. Regardless of academic cred, or lack thereof, I'll keep learning.

more thoughts on positivity

A week ago I wrote a post on how I personally keep myself positive. The more I thought about the notion of positivity and the more I have come to realize how much of a buzzword it is across the blogosphere right now (I guess it's part of the zeitgeist), I felt that there was a little more that needed to be said.

One thing I feel the need to clarify is the fact that although I do believe (from personal experience) that being positive is a healthier mindset to have in general, I do not believe in positivity in the sense of the law of attraction. I do believe that this type of thinking is true to an extent - for example, I find that when you always believe less of yourself, you tend to not be as successful, because you cannot visualize yourself succeeding. You absolutely can set up mental blocks for yourself that inhibit your ability to succeed. There is definitely some truth to the idea that having a positive mindset will lead to positive outcomes. That being said, if you do wish to go along with this worldview, you would need to agree with it's secondary implication: that if bad things are happening to you, it is because you are not thinking the right types of positive thoughts. In other words, you are not positive enough.

I do have a bone to pick with the law of attraction when you extrapolate its basic premise out to its logically conclusion: that good things will come to you if you think positive thoughts and bad things will come to you if you have negative thoughts. This view of positivity came out most clearly in the book The Secret and I will be honest will you: I believe that this worldview is incredibly privileged and places blame on individuals who are themselves victims of circumstances outside of their ability to "think the bad away". The universe is not that simple and placing the fault on someone's mindset is ridiculous, to be quite frank. If we are to actually follow through with what The Secret and books like it are contending, we would (logically) have to state that those in poverty are there not because of wide-spread and well-documented systemic prejudice...but because of their thoughts?  

I believe that focusing so much on the law of attraction-esque mindset is unfair to those who are going through difficult circumstances that are wholly outside of their control - let alone outside of their modes of thinking. It is not fair to simply tell someone to "be more positive" when they are struggling with depression, with abuse, with tragic loss, etc. Rather than telling these individuals that they need to be positive about their circumstances, we should be saying to them: yes, that really sucks and I will help you, as much as I can, to make things suck less.

There is a balance that has to be maintained between positivity and admitting when things are terrible, and outside of your control. A really pertinent example of this is the disproportionate number of people of color who are killed at the hands of police. The same thing could be said of children who are victims of violence that are completely and utterly unprovoked (such as the terribly Sandy Hook shooting). Are these deaths due to individuals' inability to be positive? At what age are individuals responsible for the bad things that happen to them because they did not "think good thoughts"?

And this is where my criticism lies with the law of attraction: it does not hold up to genuine critique once you move it outside of its own perimeters. Just to be clear here, I do believe that being positive is the better route to take, I truly do. However, I have been seeing so many posts on Positivity lately (and specifically the type of positivity that is laid out in the law of attraction) that I felt that I needed to be more clear on what my personal definition of positivity is. I believe that there are many, many aspects of your life that can be improved by staying positive - but I would never agree that positivity is the only thing that governs what happens to us.

burrantando's sloth yarn bowl

I have been an avid knitter since college and I still like to make time to have something going on my knitting needles. My boyfriend has been the recipient of a few of my creations so he is quite familiar with my love of knitting. For Christmas this year we decided to get each other one "big" item and as a kind of random fluke - or maybe a case of "great minds think alike" - we got each other something that encouraged our respective hobbies. I got him an autographed book on Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (his main hobby) and he got me a yarn bowl!

A good friend of mine showed me a link to an Etsy store called Burrantando Ceramics and I instantly fell in love with their designs. I then showed my boyfriend some of my favorites and, lo and behold, a month later, I got my very own Ceramic Baby Sloth Yarn Bowl! I am in love with this little guy. Not only is he really adorable, he is also really useful; I took him out of his packaging and immediately put him to use. Even when not in use, I can leave him out around the house for decoration - so practical and cute! One thing that I am particularly fond of is the fact that when you put a yarn ball inside the bowl, it looks like he is hugging it. The quality is superb and the fact that they were kind enough to etch in a sweet little note on the bottom made it even more personal. I make it a point to buy handmade when I can and I am ecstatic to add this little cutie to my collection.

Although this was meant to be a Christmas present, due to the fact that each piece is made-to-order and because it was shipping internationally, I just got my Christmas present late last week. However, after holding it in person, in retrospect I definitely don't mind the wait. One thing to note about this seller is that (according to my boyfriend) the shipping was pretty steep. Again, this is something that is to be expected especially considering how fragile the product is and how far it came from - but that is still something to keep in mind before you make your purchase.

I am so happy with this gift and, being me, I couldn't help but go back to their website and take a peek at a few more of their designs. Seals are my second favorite animals (after otters), so I squealed when I saw these two designs. I am also partial to these little polar bear figurines. Overall, this is one of my favorite Christmas gifts ever and I am so happy with it!

on staying positive

A new year inevitably means new year's resolutions. I haven't had strict "resolutions" for the past few years, because my resolutions are always pretty much the same: keep exercising, keep reading, and keep budgeting. In fact, my Book List/Currently Reading tab began as a way to keep track of the books I read at a time when I had fallen out of the habit of reading for fun. Ever since I took off the pressure of making "New Years Resolutions", I found that I was more successful at achieving my three simple goals. I just used the new year as a time to remind myself to stick to these three lifestyle choices.

However, I did want to add in another mini-resolution for 2015: staying positive.

I know that positivity is kind of a buzzword within the blogging community right now and I think that it's a great thing that a lot of people are talking about it. For one thing, it's a great reminder when you see another person post about positivity. More importantly, it's fun to see how others keep themselves focused on staying positive, because we all have different activities that put us in a positive headspace. Getting a range of ideas for staying positive only gives you more material to work with!

Here's what I do to stay positive:

- surround yourself with positive people // I have seen this one on a number of lists and for good reason. I am definitely someone who sucks up emotion (particularly negative emotions) like a sponge, so if I am constantly around negative people, then I become negative too. I think that more people see certain emotions as being particularly contagious: Sara Ahmed writes that "Anxiety is sticky: rather like Velcro, it tends to pick up whatever comes near". I think the same can be said for positivity as well, which is why I try to surround myself with people who are intentionally positive.

- force yourself to refocus // I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to falling into negativity. For various reasons I also tend to lean more towards negativity than I'd like to admit. To combat that tendency, I started keeping a special notebook in which I write down five things I am thankful for each day. I heard on NPR's "The Science of Happiness" that the happiest (i.e. the most positive) people were also those who were the most grateful. It's easy to forget the many good aspects of your life when you are hitting an emotionally low point. However, I've found that manually changing my perspective and making myself write down the good things in my life has made me a more positive person.

- learn to think long-term // Sometimes the things that make us more negative are situational. Often times this means that you can't always remove yourself from the person or situation that is causing you to be more negative. This could be something like loss of a job, family issues, or financial issues. What helps me during moments of situational negativity is to remember to think long-term. Whatever the situation is, it will not be that way forever. In the meantime, take care of yourself and do as much as you can to keep yourself positive - whether that be teaching yourself a new skill, pouring new energy into hobbies, or even exercising. Taking your mind off the problem and looking toward the future definitely helps to but some things in perspective.

How do you keep yourself positive?

from the bookshelf: non-fiction

I have already compiled (some) of my favorite fiction books in two previous posts, but I decided to do another book-centric post focusing on some of my favorite non-fiction books. I'm going to do a bit of a grab-bag here since "non-fiction" is such a wide umbrella term for anything from history books, essays, academic articles, how-to books, and so on. So here are a few of my favorite non-fiction reads from my bookshelf!

Bomb Power by Gary Wills
One of my side interests includes the communities that pop up around the creation of the atomic bomb, along with the emotional resonance the a-bomb has as a cultural symbol. Gary Wills does a fantastic job of breaking down how the atomic bomb has a profound cultural, social, and psychological impact on those who created the bomb in the first place. Although the bomb is sent to demolish an enemy, no one on either end of the bomb remains unscathed. Fun fact: The Manhattan Project (the group charged to create the atomic bomb during WWII) was heavily tied to the University of Chicago, so I was able to go through the archives and read through actual documents from the Manhattan Project while I was working on my thesis! Nearly all documents including memos, letters, notebooks, and actual physicis...stuff, are in UChicago's archives. The nerd in me was OVERJOYED. 

The Essential Writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson
Emerson is the stuff of high school English classes and I am guessing that at some point (especially if you attended school in the United States) you have already read a few of these essays - does the idea of turning into a giant transparent eyeball sound familiar? I believe that I read Emerson's essays when I first began attending college at the age of sixteen and something about his style of writing really caught my attention right away. In fact, it was such an obsession that one of my friends bought me a hard copy of Emerson's essays which remains with me to this day (see above photo!).

Empathic Vision by Jill Bennett
This book played a huge role in my Master's thesis and continues to be a text I repeatedly go back to. I will admit that it is a very dense book, because it delves deeply into both affect theory and trauma studies. However, what I like about it is the way that Bennett focuses on how art (visual art) can become a means through which trauma and affect can be discussed. A really fascinating read for anyone who is interested in art, theory, and socio-political issues.

Japan's Total Empire by Louisa Young
I am continually surprised how little many people in the West really know about what went on in the Pacific during WWII. As someone who is Japanese and as someone who studies texts from the WWI/WWII era, I make it a point to read up on as much history as I can. So when a friend of mine suggested this book to me, I decided to give it a shot. As terrible as it is to read about atrocities that one's country has committed, it is even more terrible to ignore what happened in the past. This book addresses the political and economic relationship between Manchuria and Japan, as well as the historical events that led up to Japan's involvement in Manchuria. It was a very insightful and eye-opening book.

Fair Isle Knitting by Alice Starmore
Now for something very different - a knitting book! Knitting is one of my favorite hobbies and the fair isle style is my absolute favorite style. I have done quite a bit of stranded knitting in my time, but I am nowhere near skilled enough to pull off many of these designs. My favorite part of this book (aside from all the great patterns) is how the colors and features of the natural landscape inspire certain patterns - there are a lot of great side-by-side shots showing the colors of nature alongside a knitted pattern that was inspired by the landscape. It's a great book to page through for inspiration!

This is a great reminder to reread some of these favorites!

2014: a retrospective

Another year has come and gone, which means that it is prime time for reflection. This past year has been full of ups and downs (what year isn't though?) - but looking back here are my top five memories of 2014!

• graduating with a Master's degree from the University of Chicago: how can this not stay at the top of my list? Not only was my time at UChicago an amazing academic experience (which forced me to grow as a scholar), but I also had the opportunity to explore the amazing sights of Chicago during my academic down-time. I have so many great memories exploring down town Chicago with two amazing girls that I became very close to during my program. One of the most iconic sights was the Bean - or Cloudgate as it is officially called, but who calls it that anyway? - and I found myself returning to it multiple times along my commute to work.

• attending a Natsume Soseki conference: I took a PhD seminar course on fascism and Japanese culture which covered political and literary texts from the Meiji, Taisho, and early Showa eras. The professor teaching the course was presenting at a Soseki conference at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor so my friend (who also was in the seminar) and I attended the conference. I absolutely love academic conferences in general because I really enjoy seeing scholars and students present on topics that they are passionate about. Although the focus of the conference was on the works of Soseki, the presenters took their papers in so many varied directions from specific texts (「心」["Kokoro"] was a particularly popular text, as was 満韓ところどころ ["Manchuria and Korea, Here and There"]) to more general social or historical issues. That particular period of world history is part of what I focus on in my own studies so although this was a conference that was technically outside of my discipline, it was fascinating to see how these papers intersected with my own work.

• working with Trio Upward Bound: during the summer of 2014 I taught English literature to a group of high schoolers who come from low socio-economic backgrounds and who are on track to becoming the first members of their families to attend college - which is such an amazing accomplishment! My boyfriend (who actually has a teaching license) has been a lead teacher in the program for three summers now and since he knew I needed a transitional job he suggested I join the team as well. Education in general, and literacy skills specifically, is a huge passion of mine so I jumped at the opportunity. I have taught elementary school children in the past, but high schoolers are a type of student that I tended to shy away from for some reason. However, these kids were phenomenal. Not only were they always eager to learn and participate in class, they were just all around solid, good kids. It was such a moving experience to work with them and I am hoping to return this coming summer.

• summer trip up north: another fun event of the summer was tagging along up north with my boyfriend and his family. We were able to spend a lot of time hiking, seeing the sights, and (in my case) taking a lot of gorgeous pictures. It's easy to forget how beautiful and calming nature can be, especially if you tend to stay in urban or suburban areas.

• attending a music theory conference: I guess that this was the year that I attended conferences outside of my discipline - although I will admit that this particular conference was really, really outside of what I do. I decided to tag along with my friend from undergrad, who is currently finishing up her MA in Music Theory, because my boyfriend and another mutual friend of ours was going to be attending the conference as well. Though I have done a lot of music for the majority of my life (I have played the viola since I was 10 and was in a touring orchestra for four years), I definitely do not do music academically. Hell, my undergraduate viola professor would often try to ask me easy "theory" questions about intervals and I struggled to answer - much to his dismay. Thankfully, my musical background kept me from being wholly lost, but a lot of the talks went right over my head! That being said, it was so much fun to spend time with friends that I hadn't seen for two years.

Overall, 2014 was a great year for me and now I'm eagerly awaiting 2015 and all that it has to offer! Hope everyone has a safe and fun New Year!

merry christmas from this sojourner!

For those of you who celebrate Christmas today, I hope you have a fantastic day - and for those of you who do not celebrate Christmas, I hope your holiday season has been wonderful so far! Thank you for visiting my little corner of the internet and I will see you in the new year :)

Happy and safe holidays to you and your loved ones!